Thursday, May 26, 2011

What NOT to do this summer...

I figured with all the heaviness of yesterday's post that it was time to publish a post that I have been working on regarding what not to do during the summer.  That and the fact that it has been sunny and in the high 70's here is Beenoland lately.  Woo hoo!!!!

Without further ado, my 5 rules to get the most out of your summer:

1.  Flip flops and sandals are meant to be worn with bare feet.  "Turtle toe" as my little princess so eloquently calls it, is a supah fashion faux pas in my book.  If your feet are cold then you shouldn't be wearing flip flops in the first place.  Suck it up, put some socks and shoes on.

Really?  Not only is this look soooo not attractive, you can't tell me this is comfortable.

2.  Sunscreen is your friend.  Now I admit, I love having a tan in the summer even though it is probably not the best thing for me or my aging skin.  At 34, I really do care about the fine lines and little sun spots that have been making their appearance on my face after each dose of summer sun.  So I do try and balance between using sunscreen and getting a little color.  Also, the last time I checked getting a sunburn is NOT what I would call attractive on anyone.  I don't care if your Giselle freaking Bundchen.  Burns are BAD!

Just what the hell is this guy smiling about anyway?  That has to hurt.

3. (related to rule number 2)   There is such a thing as too tan.  Know your limits.

This little boy's face pretty much sums it up.

4.  Bathing suits are made for a reason.  Now I know that it is easier said than done putting on a bathing suit and strutting your stuff on the beach.  For those of you that think you are hiding something by going swimming in shorts and a shirt, I assure you, you are not hiding anything.  When you come out of the water soaking wet, your clothes are plastered to your body outlining every inch and hiding nothing you thought it would.  Take the plunge and go get yourself a bathing suit that flatters your body type.  Now a days they make one for every shape and size on the planet.  And if you're really self conscious get a cute matching sarong or cover up to go with it for when your not in the water.

If you are swimming in your clothes to hide your imperfections than I  promise that you won't even come close to looking like this upon exiting the water.  Don't even try it.

5.  Don't allow yourself to be buried in the sand.   No matter how much begging and pleading from your children, do not volunteer. It may seem like a great idea at the time, or  make a good photo op and you might still feel that way while your buried deeply in the cool damp sand.  But you will feel very differently when you spend an hour trying to wash the sand out of every crack and crevice of your nether region.   A week later you will still be finding stray specks of sand in your bra and in your panties.  A nice reminder to NEVER DO THAT AGAIN.
Aaaah, sneaky little buggers!  Fooling you into believing what fun this is!  But now thanks to me, you know better.

And these my friends are my 5 simple little rules to help you make the most of your summer.  Now go out there and practice what I just preached!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

The day my world stood still

For the last 34 years, I have have taken my life for granted.  I have gone on about my days cleaning, cooking, being a mother and wife, stressing, worrying, laughing, and loving.  I worry about money.  I worry about whether or not I am making the right choices for my children.  I worry about my health and constantly wonder when I will commit to making a healthier lifestyle change for myself and for my family.  I say I want to do it, but I don't ever really commit to it.  I have taken for granted every blessing given to me from God and not truly appreciated just how lucky I am.

I think that this kind of attitude is very normal.  One goes on about his or her life, busy, busy, busy, until the day something happens to them that puts everything into perspective.  The important things in life are suddenly made so clear.  The petty little things that you spent your days and nights worrying over, or arguing with your spouse about, simply vanish into thin air.  I call it the biggest "Reality Check" you'll ever be given.  I had no idea something like this would ever happen to my family.  I wouldn't wish something like this on my worst enemy, yet at the same time I consider it a blessing from God and believe from this point on my life, and my family's life will be better changed forever.

The Day My World Stood Still:

Wednesday, May 18th began just like any other ordinary day here in the Beeno household.  I woke at 6:00am, began getting ready for work, fought with the athlete about getting out of bed and getting ready for school.  I welcomed the daycare children into my home one by one and dealt with the princess who was staying home from school with a belly ache.  I helped the coach get his things in order for work, touched base about his day,  kissed him goodbye and went on about my own day.

Before the coach had left that morning we were drinking our coffee and chatting about his plans for the day when he suddenly remembered he was supposed to have fasted that morning because he needed to go in to have some routine blood work done.  He had been to the doctor's on Monday because he didn't feel like he had fully recovered from the pneumonia he had several weeks before and wanted to see if the antibiotics had fully cleared it up.  As part of his exam the doctor had ordered a chest x-ray as well as the blood work.  It wasn't a big deal.   He would simply just wait one more day and stop by the lab a day later for the blood work.

Several hours passed and I believe it was close to noontime when my phone rang.  It was the coach calling which wasn't unusual.  He normally called around this time to simply say hi and see how my day was going.  I answered and joked with him for a moment then asked how his day was when he very calmly told me he just got off the phone with his doctor and that they had discovered a "mass" in his left lung close to his spine on his chest x-ray.  He needed an  immediate CAT scan  that day or the next.  That was the only information he was given.

At that exact moment in time, everything going on around me just ceased to exist.  I didn't speak at first because I was trying too hard to fight off the panic coursing through every vain in my body. When I finally spoke, all I could do was ask questions, questions that my husband could not answer.  I was desperate for more information. The doctor must have told him more, something along the lines of, "It's probably nothing to worry about, I just want to be cautious and rule anything out."  But no, it was just that one statement.  "We have found a mass in your lung, and you need to have a CAT scan".  My husband knew nothing more than the words he had just uttered over the phone.

What are you supposed to do when a bomb is dropped on you like that?  I couldn't say anything to fix the situation.  I couldn't do anything to make it go away. I did all I could think to do for my husband at the time.  I stayed calm and told him that we would get the scans done, and I was sure it would be nothing serious.   We just have to get through the scans and wait.

Easier said than done.  I could never truly empathize with people when they said they were awaiting results of a biopsy or MRI or catscan.  I didn't know what that wait was like for them.  After going through it, I think the "not knowing" part is worse than the results.  Your natural tendency is to think "What if"  and then go through every worse case scenario you can think up.  It happened to me and the more I thought about it,  the more panicked I became and the less I could function.  I thought, "I could lose the love of my life, my best friend, the father of my children". To keep sane, I surprised myself and refused to let my mind wander into unknown territory. I repeated the mantra, "I will not panic until I have something to panic about", over and over in my head.  Every single damn time that fear tried to creep it's way into the forefront of my thoughts I beat it back down.  I kept  plugging away.   I also prayed every moment that I was alone with my own thoughts.

The next morning he went for his IV catscan.  He went by himself.  I offered, his mother offered, his brother and sister all offered to go with him.  He said no to us all.  My heart ached for him as he walked out the door that morning.  I knew he would not receive the results after the scan but I still asked him to call me when he was done anyway.  I needed to hear his voice and know he was ok.  He was told the doctor would contact him the next day with the results.  He left the doctor's office and drove straight to work.  Even though I knew we were not going to learn anything that day, I still jumped and lost my breath every single time my phone rang that afternoon.

The coach left work early that day.  He came home and we continued on as if nothing were wrong.  It's strange but I was afraid to be around him.  I was afraid I would say the wrong thing, or not say enough.  I didn't know what to do, how to act, more importantly how to fix this.  I felt helpless.  I left him alone in our bedroom where he was working on installing a new TV  that just days before we had both been so excited to finally purchase.  I can tell you that at that point, I didn't give a damn about that friggin TV.  But I think the coach needed something physical to do, so he continued on alone upstairs while I sat in the living room listening to our kids blissfully unaware of what was really going on around them.

I remember thinking to myself, at least the athlete has a baseball game tonight.  That will help take our minds off things for a couple of hours tonight, when I heard our bedroom door open.  (I hadn't realized that the coach had shut it or that his cell phone had rung.)  He never addressed me, he just calmly spoke, "It's all set."  I thought maybe he was referring to the TV and said, "What's all set?"  That's when I heard him loud and clear.  "My scans came back clean.  That was the doctor's nurse.  They didn't want me to wait another night to find out that there is absolutely nothing on my lungs.  The nurse said is could have been a shadow or something on the lens when they took the initial x-rays."

I ran to him so fast, embraced him tightly, and broke down in tears.  I hadn't cried the entire time and suddenly every emotion I had held in check broke free.  I was in a state of disbelief. Could I really trust what I had just heard, "completely clear"?  Secretly I had been hoping for something like, it's a benign nodule, or scar tissue, or some sort of massive infection.  I didn't even entertain the idea that it could be absolutely nothing!  It was a better outcome then I could have ever hoped for.  That was when the coach came clean and told me every fear that had been going through his mind and I realized just how frightened he had been during the whole ordeal.  He was breathless.  We celebrated a few minutes together, and walked out of our bedroom two brand new people with a new leases on life.

We went to the athlete's game that night and we cheered and we socialized and we smiled at each other the entire time.  We didn't let on to anyone what we had just gone through.  We simply enjoyed the evening, deeply grateful for the blessing we had been given.  We still seem like the same two people, but inside we have changed so much.  I am not the same wife and mother as I was before that day.  I have had my eyes ripped wide open to what truly matters in life. I plan on making the most of everyday that I am given  here on this earth with my loved ones.

It is amazing to me how something you hope will never happen to you or a loved one, can in the end, be something you are grateful for experiencing because it has transformed you into a better version of yourself.

I participated in Shell's Pour Your Heart Out link up today.  You can read all of them here:

Thursday, May 12, 2011

He's good with numbers...

 I always wondered in the back of my mind when this time would come.

It has taken just under 11 years.

Sometimes, I'm surprised that it has taken this long.

It began several days ago when the athlete approached me when we were all alone and made a random comment while I was on Facebook.  He said to me:  "Mom, you and Dad are really young.  Most of my friends in school have parents that are in their 40's."

Feeling flattered, I replied, "Well yes, that's true.  Dad and I are not as old as most of your friends parents."

That was followed up by him with, "Why?"

I explained that Dad and I met when I was still in college and we loved each other so much we decided to get married and have children at a young age.  (I was 23 to be exact and the coach was 25.  So it's not like we are talking about teen parents or anything, just younger parents.)

That answer seemed to suffice, or so I thought.  He walked out of the room and I went on about my business.  About 5 minutes later he came back and blurted out, "You and Dad had me before you got married?"

That gave me pause.  I quickly ran through things in my head.  I always knew the day would come when he would put 2 and 2 together.  I just wasn't expecting it at that moment.

What tipped him off?

This picture was given to us by my mother-in-law for our 10th anniversary last year.

It wasn't the picture itself,  it was what was below it:

Now the athlete was born on July 1st 2000 and it doesn't take a genius to calculate that if we were married in September of 2000 that he had already  made his appearance into the world and was actually 3 months old on our wedding day.

He told me that he looked at the date on the plaque and basically did the math.   I explained to him that sometimes God has other plans for us and that even though the "right" order of things is to fall in love, get married, and then have children, sometimes it doesn't always happen that way.  (But, I reinforced that it should!)

I anxiously waited, while he processed all the info, afraid of what his next comment might be.  My fears were quelled when he simply shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Well, I'm glad I have young parents. You guys are cool."  He followed that up with a hug!

I breathed a huge sigh of relief, glad that the conversation was over and felt pretty darn good about being a young, cool mom!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Precious moments...

Princess Bella

Side view

Proud big brother with his little sis

Little princess

All smiles for the big day!

Daddy love

Momma and her little girl

In the blink of an eye, they're gone.

Friday, May 6, 2011

He nailed it...

Update from this post yesterday.

The parents got to go in  to school this morning to view all the 5th graders project boards for the Interest Fair and see if they won a ribbon from the judging yesterday.  They all were judged on their presentations and based on that as well as their boards and their essays,  they had a chance of winning a ribbon.

We walked into his class and there was the athlete standing so proud and tall with a huge crap-eating grin on his face and pointing to his "honorable mention" ribbon hanging from the top of his board.


The teachers all told me he was amazing during his oral presentation and was able to answer any question thrown at him.

 I am one super thrilled and proud mama today!  Every time I think about it and see his little face in this picture,  I can't stop smiling!!  It's moments like these that make the craziness of the last few weeks ALL WORTH IT!!

Here he is at school today.  He was so happy to receive a blue honorable mention ribbon!  He was even sporting his Jimmy Fund pin on his shirt!

His completed project and awards

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Oral presentations...

At long last, the day has arrived.  Today is the day of the athlete's Interest Fair.  It's the big to do project of the 5th grade.  He has been working on this for the past 2 months.  The entire thing consists of 3 parts...

An essay on the subject

A huge, three sided poster board project

And an oral report, explaining your topic

With much screaming, arguing, and nagging from me, the essay was completed and turned in on Monday morning.

This past week we have worked for hours finishing up the final touches on the poster board presentation.  We printed, we cut, we organized, we glued, and we labeled.  The final poster ("Rocked!"), in my unbiased opinion.

The scariest part for him:   the oral presentation.  He is judged on how well he knows the information presented, how loud and slowly he talks, and the kicker...

how clearly he speaks.  Here's his dilemma:

How clearly would you speak with all this junk in your mouth?

He practiced his report over and over in front of the coach and I last night.  He was stressed to the max and worried about not getting a good grade because of the way he speaks.  (It didn't help that I started giggling during one of his practice runs.  It was really poor judgement on my half, I was only trying to lighten the mood. It backfired terribly.)  The coach spent the next half hour building his confidence back up and I helped him with his notes.

He left this morning, confident as ever,  ready to tackle the day.  I am so proud of him.  I know he's gonna knock em' dead, mouth full of metal or not!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

I broke a sunbathing rule...

I wasn't trying to, I swear.  As a matter of fact, I'm not even sure you could say I broke a rule, since I technically wasn't even sunbathing, I just happened to be out in the sun.

Direct sun that is, right at mid-day.  (Isn't that the time of day you are suppose to avoid long term sun exposure, or at least wear sunscreen?)  Yeah, double strikes for me!

I was in the sun for 2 hours on Sunday, watching the athlete's baseball game.  It was a gorgeous day.  Lots of sun, lots of wind, (so you didn't  feel all that sun beating down on you), and some great company.  My friend Sarah happened to be there.  She had a similar experience that day, you can read all about it on her blog over at  In the Trenches of Mommyhood.

We chatted happily throughout the game and it wasn't until a few hours later that my lips started to feel chapped and I went to itch my nose and it hurt like a son of a B when I scratched it.  I looked in the mirror at my silly self.  A shiny red nose and ghastly white raccoon eyes from wearing ridiculously large sunglasses the entire time.

I didn't realize just how awful these sunglasses were until seeing them in this picture.  I can promise you I will be shopping for some new ones this weekend.

This is me, the next morning.  The burn on my nose isn't as obvious as it actually was, thanks to my amazing cover up job I did and my makeup from Laura Mercier.  If you haven't tried it, do so, you won't be disappointed.  Please direct your attention to the lovely white spot above my nose, and the outline of my sunglasses bridging out from there across my cheeks.  It's quite amusing in person, I promise you.

I did this to myself last year on vacation and came home with a nose that looked like the scarecrow's from the Wizard of Oz
The Scarecrow (Wizard of Oz) No matter what I did, it lasted all summer and I looked like a meatball the entire month of August.  It took most of last fall for my tan to fade and my nose to go back to it's natural color.  Looks like I'm screwed until next fall again.